Dear Rabbi Simon
The yahrzeit for my mother is on a Monday. There is no daily minyan in my community. Should kaddish be recited on the Shabbat before or after? If I can get a minyan together on Sunday, is that preferable. Or what does halacha say? What do you suggest?
Many thanks,
Joseph
Dear Joseph,
First, I wish you “long life” on observing the yahrzeit of your mother.
I suggest that you say Kaddish for her at each tefillah on Shabbat and especially Motzai Shabbat if possible. If you can gather a minyan on Sunday, that would also be commendable. If there is an option of sponsoring the kiddush or providing food and drink at some level, this would also be a source of “elevation of the soul”.
On the yahrzeit itself, in addition to lighting a 24-hour candle, you may give tzedakah and study Torah, such as selections from the Mishnah (eg Pirkei Avot), in your mother’s memory and merit. At one time there was a widespread practice to fast on a yahrzeit, however this is no longer commonplace.
I hope these guidelines are helpful.
Sincerely
Rabbi Rashi Simon