Dear Rabbi Simon
Sorry to burden you with is an uncomfortable question: The daughter of a good friend of mine who lives overseas last week “married” another Jewish woman here in London. I was invited to the “Chupa” but (much to my relief) was not able to attend as I had inescapable work commitments that weekend (this is actually true). However, he’s now posting lots of photos on Facebook. I have wished him and his daughter mazal tov privately, but I feel very uncomfortable about doing so publicly. Yet I fear that my failure to join the chorus will be conspicuous and may hurt my friend’s feelings and damage our friendship. What should I do?
This is indeed a delicate question/dilemma. My suggestion: Use your diplomatic skills to wish them all well without explicitly celebrating (and validating) the same-sex union. Do so would indeed be halakhically and philosophically problematic (as well as distasteful).
Best wishes for only simchas in the New Year.
Rabbi Rashi Simon