Wedding Bells, Wedding Blues

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Dear Rabbi Simon
Sorry to burden you with is an uncomfortable question: The daughter of a good friend of mine who lives overseas last week “married” another Jewish woman here in London. I was invited to the “Chupa” but (much to my relief) was not able to attend as I had inescapable work commitments that weekend (this is actually true). However, he’s now posting lots of photos on Facebook. I have wished him and his daughter mazal tov privately, but I feel very uncomfortable about doing so publicly. Yet I fear that my failure to join the chorus will be conspicuous and may hurt my friend’s feelings and damage our friendship. What should I do?

Hi Leslie,
This is indeed a delicate question/dilemma. My suggestion: Use your diplomatic skills to wish them all well without explicitly celebrating (and validating) the same-sex union. Do so would indeed be halakhically and philosophically problematic (as well as distasteful).
Best wishes for only simchas in the New Year.
Rabbi Rashi Simon

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Ask the Rabbi: Quinoa on Pesach
Dear Rabbi Simon,
Where do you stand on quinoa (and the kitniyot ban) for Pesach?
Many thanks,
Dear Tzippy,
In line with other American authorities, I am in favour of quinoa. Although I reject completely the voices (mostly from Israel) seeking to abolish the ban on kitniyot entirely, IMO we do not need to include in the prohibition pseudo-grains that were unknown in the Old World until modern times. Best to buy with a Pesach hechsher though, to be free of any possible wheat contamination.
Rabbi Rashi Simon
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