Dear Rabbi Simon,
I have a question about bringing a child under bar or bat mitzvah to a cemetery for a funeral or stone-setting. What is the halacha (or minhag)? In South Africa it is not done but is this just a custom? I am also aware that at a cemetery there is a whole lot of stuff happening in the spiritual world that we don’t want to interfere with. I am having a debate with my sister, and she has found a quote on Google from the Shulchan Aruch [Code of Jewish Law].
Thanks so much.
Matt
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Dear Matt
There is no halakhic impediment to a child attending a cemetery. In some circles this is discouraged in the case of the burial (as opposed to stone-setting or similar) of a parent or grandparent, but even this is only a matter of minhag. Or personal parenting choice.
However, in my opinion there is good reason to be cautious about bringing a young child to a cemetery, as the experience can be unsettling and the benefit doubtful. (Other than possibly the convenience for the parents of not having to make alternative arrangements for childcare.)
Auf simchas
עם ישראל חי
Rabbi Rashi Simon