Dear Rabbi Simon
We are hosting a meal where I know one man and two women will respond to a Zimun (ie, a group of three or more men [or women], who are “invited” by one member of the group to recite the birkat ha-mazon together) but I am unsure if the other two men will. Do I still make it?
Baruch
Hi Baruch
Thank you for your question, describing a circumstance which is not rare (in contemporary times).
Strictly speaking there are grounds to say that one may not include in a זימון one who will not participate out of ignorance and even more so if his refusal is out of principle (though the latter scenario is probably uncommon). However, widespread practice is to include even those who are far from mitzvah observance. Technically, you can “invite the participation” of a guest/fellow diner even if he will decline or simply fail to respond. Again, I am assuming he will not explicitly disavow the blessing (grace after meal), but simply fail to respond/participate out of ignorance/cluelessness.
Bottom line, it would be ideal to coach him so that he can/will participate, but even if this is not practical/appropriate, I would suggest that you proceed with the zimun in any case.
Best wishes
Rabbi Rashi Simon