Dear Rabbi Simon,
I’m invited to the wedding of a good friend’s daughter in Israel in August. When I told my mum, she got very sad and worried that I’m considering travelling to a war zone! What’s the right thing to do? To honour the couple / my best friend? To be a good Zionist / Jew and not to be afraid?
To respect my mum’s wishes? That’s a sheileh!
Mitzi
Dear Mitzi
This is indeed a halakhic dilemma. Honouring parents and celebrating a wedding (hakhnasat kallah) are both among the list of premier mitzvot mentioned following the Blessings of the Torah every morning (see Artscroll siddur p. 16). Which gets precedence? Strictly speaking, since participation in the wedding is a mitzvah, your mother’s admonition cannot forbid you from attending. One is not required to fulfil a parent’s instruction at the cost of neglecting a mitzvah. However, it would be much better if you were able to persuade/convince her that you will not be putting your safety at (substantial) risk, so that she withdraws her objection. I hope you succeed. And who knows, maybe by then the War Zone will have become a Peace Zone.
Best wishes
Rabbi Rashi Simon