Dear Rabbi Simon
All my life I was proud of being a firstborn son. Originally, the firstborn son was to represent each family in the Holy Temple (Beit Hamikdash), and his job was to be a priest to serve Hashem. Our Sages maintain that once the Third Temple is built (may it be soon in our days) the firstborn sons will rejoin the priesthood and serve with the Kohanim and Levites. This was always my dream to be able to serve my Creator, in His Holy Temple one day.
I am crying bitterly as I write this because it pains me deeply: I was recently devastated to find out that I’m not the same firstborn as others. I am not entitled to be a priest in the Holy Temple. This stems from the fact that I was born through a cesarean section, rather than natural birth. In Exodus it says that He sanctified all firstborns that opened the womb. Before I learned this, I thought I was part of something special; the news devastated me spiritually. I broke down in tears, and my dreams were all destroyed in a split second. I sat in silence and hitbodedut (deep introspection). I prayed to Hashem to accept me as His servant the way I originally envisioned it. (I remembered a dream that I had a few months ago while I was in Israel. In the dream, a man told my grandmother that her grandson will never be a Kohel Gadol, but he will serve on the Sanhedrin one day.) I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I hope it is one where Hashem allows me to serve in the Temple. I will have this on my mind till the day I pass away and can’t shake it.
This Tisha B’av I yearn for the Temple to be rebuilt, but I mourn for the loss of the priesthood I imagined myself having. I don’t know why Hashem has given me this challenge in my life, but I’m sure it’s all with good reason because everything He does is for the best.
I hope you can help me out with some encouraging words or something.
Thank you for your time.
Peter
Dear Peter,
Thank you for your earnest email.
Your status as a firstborn is not diminished with regard to inheritance and primogeniture generally. The fact that there is no requirement for Pidyon ha-ben for one born through caesarean section is a technicality which does not impact on your status in other ways.
Insofar as the role of firstborns in the Third Temple, I believe this question may be safely left in abeyance for the time being. Much will change in messianic times (may they soon arrive), and the identity and status of kohanim may well be among these. If they will in future share their Divine service with firstborn, this will indeed be a departure from current as well as ancient practice.
In the meantime, we all have many mitzvot with which to occupy ourselves, and ways in which we can serve Hashem, even in the current era.
I hope your Fast of Av is meaningful and that better times lie ahead for all of us.
Best wishes
Rabbi Rashi Simon